


Where Do We Go When Our Prayers Are Answered (But The Answer Is No)

by LostInMyThoughts



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Lexa, Med Student Clarke, Mild Smut, Post-Break Up, Sexy Times, Soulmates, Stubborn Clarke, clexa - endgame - Freeform, law student lexa, past relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:46:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInMyThoughts/pseuds/LostInMyThoughts
Summary: "It’s funny to me...this idea of “soulmates.” I always believed that it was just another one of those things that someone once came up with to make an extra buck. Hey, these suckers want to find “true love” let’s sell this idea of soulmates and that two specific people are the perfect pair and meant to be together forever. It’s all a bunch of crap if you ask me.But she...she believed it with every ounce of her being."or The one where Clarke doesn't believe in soulmates.also just note that this story is NOT written in first person.  (I know a lot of people don't like that and I don't want you to be put off!)





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Hey! Hope you enjoy this new fix! Please now that I'm not 100% with grammar and there will be mistakes here and there.
> 
> Also this first section of the first chapter is in first person but...there's a reason (you'll find out quickly). The rest will be in third person.

_ It’s funny to me...this idea of “soulmates.” I always believed that it was just another one of those things that someone once came up with to make an extra buck. Hey, these suckers want to find “true love” let’s sell this idea of soulmates and that two specific people are the perfect pair and meant to be together forever. It’s all a bunch of crap if you ask me. _

_ But she...she believed it with every ounce of her being. There were several nights when we would lay in bed, arms and legs intertwined and she would break it all down for me. She believed in some idea that humans were too strong at their creation and so the Gods separated them into two separate beings. It amazed me how much her eyes would light up as she went on about how they were destined to forever be in search of the other half of their soul. How they would never feel whole unless, by some miracle, they were able to find each other. “I feel whole when I’m with you.” She would whisper against my lips underneath the blanket of darkness in the room. “I have no doubt in my mind that soulmates are real and you, Clarke Griffin, you are mine.”  _

_ Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some cold hearted asshole. I was in love with her. I loved her with everything I had and the longer we were together the more I found my heart betraying my thoughts on the whole idea of it. Perhaps soulmates ARE real and it only took me  a mere 18 years to find mine. How about those odds? But, at 18 being someone's soulmate can be a lot of fucking pressure. Especially when you were on track to getting into med school to become a surgeon.  _

_ But… back to her. I met her my first year of University. She was a year ahead of me but it didn’t take long for me to learn that she was quite the legend at the school. Lexa Woods, the quiet and stoic captain of the girl’s soccer team. On the field she was a force to be reckoned with but off the field she mainly kept to herself spending most of her time in the university’s library. The first several times I saw her she had her nose shoved in a history book, her eyebrows furrowing as she read over whatever assignment her professor had given her for that week. It was actually pretty fucking adorable. _

_ It took two months of me creeping on her in the library to finally grow the nerve to go over and talk to her but, just as I decided I would approach her… she approached me. That was the start of...  _

 

“Ugh, this is fucking stupid.” Clarke sighs slamming the journal shut. She is not a writer and she never will be. She had read some article earlier in the week on how therapeutic journaling can be and when she saw the “100 prompts for writing” journal she just couldn’t help herself. If there was one thing Clarke Griffin is feeling these days it was stress and at this point she would try almost anything to relieve even just a small amount of it...even journaling. Taking another sip of the cheap red wine she’d bought along with the journal she bounces her pen against the desk. This was not going to help her relax. She glances at the time on her phone which shows 10:34 pm. One thought crosses her mind. She knows she shouldn’t but it has been a long difficult week at school and there was one thing she knew would help her relax. She takes another long sip finishing her glass before giving in. “Fuck it,” she says to no one, and picks up her phone going straight for the last name in her list of favorite contacts. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as the phone rings once...twice...three times until finally the line picks up.

“Clarke.” The voice speaks apprehensively.

“Come over.” Clarke whispers huskily and she hears a sigh into the speaker. “Please?” She adds a little softer than the first time. 

“I thought you said-”

“I know what I said. But...just one more time.” She asks. “Then that’s it. I promise.” She waits as silence takes over the phone but she knows she won't be turned down.

“Fine, I’ll be there in a little bit.” 

The line goes dead and Clarke runs to her bathroom for a quick shower. Having dealt with cadavers in the anatomy lab all day, she knows she can’t smell very good. Especially to someone who hadn’t been there with her, able to grow accustomed to the smell. Once she is satisfied that she smells purely of her vanilla body wash she dries herself off and with a smirk she throws on an old soccer jersey. It isn’t long after that she hears a knock quickly followed by the front door opening and closing.

“Woods.” Clarke smiles, leaning against the doorframe of her bedroom. The other girl fights to keep her lips from turning up so instead she takes the bottom one between her teeth before letting it slide back out slowly.

“Fuck Clarke, I will never get over the sight of you wearing my jersey.” Lexa rasps and her eyes move down to follow Clarke’s hips as the girl saunters towards her. She drops the six pack of beer she brought with her on the counter and turns back to Clarke who has made her way over to her. 

“I know.” Clarke husks before bringing her lips to meet with Lexa’s. The kiss is pure fire and it knocks Lexa, who was unprepared for such intensity, slightly of balance. But before she could trip over herself, Clarke’s arms are around her waist and leading them backward. A small grunt escapes Lexa’s mouth as her back collides with the front door and she tears her lips away from Clarke.

“Clarke,” she sighs as the blonde's lips move to her neck and her thigh pushes its way in between Lexa’s legs. “Clarke,” she tries again but still the other girl continues her advancements. This time Lexa brings her hands up to cup each of Clarke’s flushed cheeks and pulls her mouth away from her own burning skin so she can look at her. She kisses Clarke softly and sweetly pulling away again before Clarke can deepen it.

“Lexa,” Clarke begs breaking away from the green eyes staring back at her saying everything that she won't allow the brunette to verbally say.

“Clarke, I miss-”

“Please, Not tonight!” She cuts Lexa off, her words coming out harsher than she intended them to but they accomplish what she wanted. 

Lexa’s eyes switch from soft and pleading to a hardened fiery glare. “Fine.” She grumbles between her teeth and brings Clarke’s mouth back to hers, turning them around and pressing the blonde roughly against the door. She kisses Clarke until she can’t breath and when she pulls away she moves her lips to the girl’s neck covering as much skin as she can. Her hands move down Clarke’s sides and slip under the jersey quickly bringing it over the other girl's head and tossing it to the side. 

Clarke’s fingers make their way to the brunette’s hair. She is more than willing to let Lexa take control of the moment. She knows Lexa hates the situation they have put themselves in and she knows that not allowing her to talk about it just pisses her off further. But this...this is the side of the girl she needs right now. This Lexa was going to give her what she wants. What she craves. 

Losing herself in the feeling of Lexa’s mouth and long fingers trailing across her skin,Clarke lets out a loud gasp as those same fingers grip her hips and roughly spin her around. Her bare chest now pressing against the door. Even with the other girls shirt blocking their skin from connecting, Lexa’s body feels like fire against hers and she feels a warm flutter take up residence within her stomach. The brunette links their fingers and brings their hands up to rest level with Clarke’s head. The palms of Clarke’s hands rest flat against the cool door. Turning slightly so one side of her head rests comfortably against the door, Clarke glances back towards Lexa whose mouth moves to her ear. Her breath is hot and her lips are wet as she takes the bottom of Clarke’s ear into her mouth.

“Don’t move these.” She instructs in a sultry low whisper while squeezing Clarke’s hands. A small whimper escapes from Clarke and Lexa takes that as an acknowledgement. Once she releases them she runs her fingers down Clarke’s arms causing goosebumps to appear on the warm skin underneath them. She moves her mouth to Clarke’s left shoulder and traces the watercolor lily tattoo that is set there with her tongue before moving to continue across the blonde’s back nipping skin and then soothing it along the way. 

“Lexa,” Clarke whines and Lexa pushes her hips into the girl, pushing her harder against the door.

“Shhh.” Lexa whispers and brings her foot to Clarke’s ankle pushing her legs further apart. Her hands find Clarke’s waist again and run across the top of the blue boy short underwear she’s wearing. She releases a little pressure from her hips so she can sneak her hand around and in between Clarke and the door. Her fingers dip only slightly behind the elastic band and Clarke tries to move her hips, tries to turn around but Lexa doesn’t allow it. She removes her fingers and instead runs them over the wet center of the material. Clarke responds with an intake of breath and rolls her hips back into Lexa. She takes the corner of her bottom lip in between her teeth when she hears a low moan escape from Lexa’s lips. The sound alone makes her entire body shiver.

“Fuck Clarke.” Lexa sighs against the blonde’s ear not hesitating to slip her hand back underneath the material where she wants to be. Where Clarke needs her to be. 

She runs her fingers through the wet warmth collected between Clarke’s hips and smirks as those same hips jerk against her. Lexa moves slowly, teasing the girl pinned in front of her. Clarke’s breath quickens and soon enough becomes small short pants. Her hips start to circle to try and add anything more. “No,” Lexa demands and pushes them tight against the door again. The absence of space only pushes Lexa fingers harder against Clarke ultimately giving the girl what she wants. Clarke, caught off guard, lets out a strangled moan and without thinking she reaches her hand back to tangle into Lexa’s hair. Lexa allows it, too caught up in the sounds coming from Clarke's mouth. With a tight grip in the brunette’s hair Clarke is able to turn enough towards Lexa to pull her into a sloppy and passionate kiss. When breath becomes an issue she moves her head back to rest on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Please Lexa, I need you inside me.” She cries, and Lexa obliges. It’s a little awkward with their angle and with the door there but she manages just fine. Clarke mumbles incoherently as their hips move together to match the movement of Lexa’s fingers inside of her and Lexa knows that the girl is close. She feels Clarke’s legs shake against her and she feels Clarke’s grip in her hair tighten. 

Lexa kisses Clarke’s temple and lowers her mouth slightly to whisper in her ear. “Come for me baby.” She takes Clarke’s ear between her teeth and Clarke’s body shudders, her breath catches and she comes with Lexa’s name softly escaping her lips. Lexa slows her fingers and her lips place another soft kiss against the sweaty skin of Clarke’s temple as she lets her come back down. She pulls back from Clarke when she feels the blonde stand up straighter and brings her hand out from between Clarke’s hips.

Clarke turns around to face Lexa, a smile across her face as she grabs Lexa’s wrist and brings her fingers up to her mouth. Lexa gulps as she watches Clarke clean each one of her fingers. “You’re so beautiful Clarke.” Lexa mutters dropping her forehead to meet Clarke’s. “God, I miss this so much. I miss you so much.” But this is not what Clarke wants to hear. So she cups Lexa’s neck and brings her in for another kiss. This kiss is different. This kiss is for Lexa. It’s soft, it’s slow, and it’s sweet. This kiss tells Lexa that Clarke misses her too without Clarke having to verbalize it. Lexa breaks away, “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t have you but not have you.” Lexa’s eyes remain closed but Clarke can hear the sadness in her voice.

“I know. This is the last time.” Clarke promises. Moving her fingers along Lexa’s jaw line. 

“That’s not what I want.”

“I know.” Clarke sighs. “But it just got to hard.”

“You have to stop calling me over like this.” Lexa leans in and their lips melt into another slow kiss. “You can’t just have this part of me if you don’t want the rest.”

“Lexa...it’s not like that. You know that.” Clarke says sadly.

“I know.”

“This is it...the last time.” Clarke swears and Lexa’s eyes look dejected but she pretends she doesn’t see that.

“Okay.” Lexa gives in for Clarke, again. Clarke gives her a small smile, takes her hands and leads her into the bedroom. 

“Come on, let me thank you for that because that...who needs drugs when you can get that?” Clarke tries to joke but it doesn’t work. “Okay, I’m sorry, just come here.” She pulls Lexa in and kisses her again. She sits Lexa on the bed and slowly undresses her so she can give herself to Lexa in the soft and slow way she knows Lexa needs.

The next morning when Clarke wakes up Lexa isn’t there. This is the first time even after they had broke up that Lexa isn't in the bed with her the morning after. She feels an ache in her heart but reminds herself that this is how it needs to be. She is too busy. They are too busy. It just wasn’t working anymore. Lexa is not her soulmate...soulmates don’t exist. She gets out of bed and reaches for her phone to see if maybe Lexa texted her that she had somewhere she needed to be but there is nothing there. She had really just left. Clarke thinks about texting her and asking if she made it home okay or to wish her a happy weekend but ultimately she decides against it. 

It’s better this way Clarke thinks to herself. She looks to the clock to see that it is still fairly early in the morning. The library will be open in about an hour and she has several chapters of school work she needs to get through for the weekend, which is part of the reason she was feeling so stressed out the night before. She runs her hand through the mop of blonde on her head and gets up to head for the shower. The first step in starting her long day of studying. At least she gets a break from the anatomy lab for the weekend. 

~*~

 

Lexa parks her car in the driveway but doesn't move to go inside Anya's apartment. She has been staying here since she and Clarke decided to break off their relationship three months ago.

She knows Anya will be awake by now and she knows as soon as she tells her where she spent the night that she won't hear the end of it. But, she has a lot of work she needs to get done for class on Monday and she desperately needs a shower and some fresh clothes. Reluctantly she exits her car and makes her way inside the small apartment, rolling her eyes as Anya smirks at her from her place on the couch, coffee mug in hand. 

“We'll look who it is.” She smirks placing the coffee on the table and standing up to meet Lexa. 

“Yes, I was with Clarke. Yes, I know I'm hopeless. No, she wouldn't let me talk about it, and no it's not happening again.” Lexa sighs, walking towards the room she’s been staying in.

“Lexa Woods, don't you walk away from me.” Anya snarls, crossing her arms across her chest. Lexa stops and rests her forehead against the wood paneling of her doorway. 

“First of all yes, you are hopeless. And second of all ,” she chuckles, “we both know that won't be the last time.” 

“Ugh, it has to be. She promised it would be.” Anya laughs and glares at Lexa.

“That girl is addicted to you and your body. Whether she wants to admit it or not. This break up if you can actually call it that won't last.”

“It's what we wanted Anya, it’s what we decided was best.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, what we wanted?” Anya bellows and Lexa nods her head. “Oh please Lexa, you are so in love with that girl that you would do anything she asked you to do. Including agreeing to this so called mutual breakup.” Lexa closes her eyes and bangs her forehead against the door frame. She knows Anya is right. She didn't want this breakup. She truly believed that Clarke was her soulmate and they were meant to spend their lives together. 

“What am I supposed to do?” She asks, walking back to Anya and taking a seat on the couch. Anya sighs and sits back down beside her. 

“For starters tell her this mutual breakup wasn't as mutual as she thinks it is. Tell her you never wanted to breakup.” The older girl shrugs and picks her coffee back up, taking a sip as she leans back onto the couch. 

“Everytime I try and bring it up or talk about it she stops me.” Lexa groans swiping the cup from Anya and helping herself.

“So don't let her stop you.” Anya retorts, taking her coffee back and placing in on the table out of Lexa's reach.

“I can't help it. She starts kissing me and my head goes all fuzzy.” Lexa pouts and smacks Anya's arm when she laughs at her.

“Who would have thought growing up that ‘commander Lexa’ would turn into a big pile of mush over love.

“Fuck you, Anya” Lexa growls as she gets up and heads back towards her room. “I have work to do.” She claims as she slams the door behind her.

“And she's back folks!” Anya yells before chuckling to herself. 

Lexa rolls her eyes even though the other girl can't see her and falls back onto her bed with a sigh. She can't help her thoughts from sliding back several hours. Her body warming as the images of Clarke pressed against the door and then lying on top of her flood her mind. But then she thinks of this morning when she got up and left Clarke without a word. No whispered goodbyes, no note, no text. She feels guilty for having left like that for the first time ever and she is more than tempted to quickly text the blonde and let her know that she is back home and that she is sorry for just leaving. But she doesn't, because she knows that this is how it needs to be. This is how Clarke wants it to be and she foolishly agreed to it. So now she must foolishly go along with it.

After two hours of trying to study in the small spare room and failing miserably, due to Anyas constant barging in and interrupting, Lexa finally decides to get out of the apartment. She grabs everything she'll need for a day of studying and heads to her favorite coffee shop a couple blocks away. It’s been her go to spot ever since her junior year at University because it was just far enough that most students didn’t bother trekking the distance. Which kept the place fairly quiet and made it ideal for her to get her work done. The coffee was pretty good too, which was a bonus the University library didn’t offer. 

She smiles at the barista behind the counter and walks right to the back of the shop to a corner table big enough for her to spread out her files and notes on the current case her professor has her class working on. When she has everything organized the way she wants it she makes her way back to the counter and orders her favorite coffee. Then dives head first into the hours of work she has ahead of her. She is well into her second cup of coffee when someone startles her by dropping a heavy book on to her table.

“What the hell Clarke?” Lexa snaps, pulling a folder out from under the heavy anatomy book. “What are you doing here?” she adds looking up at tired eyes.

“Well, I was at the library but I didn’t get much sleep last night and needed coffee. Then I saw a pretty girl sitting in the corner all by herself so… here I am.” Clarke smirks and plops herself down in the chair across from Lexa sipping from the cup in her hand.

“Don't say that.” Lexa growled not bothering to look up from the current set of notes she’s been going over. “You don't get to say shit like that anymore.”

Clarke sighs. “You left this morning, I woke up and you were gone.” Clarke's playful tone changes and Lexa can hear the hurt that replaces it. She drops the pen in her hand and replaces it with her forehead. She did not leave Anya’s distractions only to have them replaced with even more of one. 

“I just thought it would be better...easier.” She explains finally looking up to meet Clarke's gaze. 

“I get it, it's just. I don't know- you've just never done that before.” Clarke tries to explain, tries to hide the fact that she was hurt by it but Lexa knows her and she can see right through her.

“I'm sorry Clarke.” Lexa breaths out just loud enough for Clarke to hear her.

“Don't be.” Clarke countered. “ I guess it just is what it is.” She states, before opening her book to the page she had left off on before she left the library. She pulls three highlighters out of her bag opening them all, holding two in her right hand and the one she needs in her left ready to use.

“What are you doing?” Lexa huffed as she watched Clarke settle into her space.

“Studying.” Clarke shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Are you kidding me?” Lexa scoffs and Clarke gives her a pleading look batting her eyelashes. “Fine, just no talking I really need to get this done.”

“My lips are sealed.” Clarke nods and adds the motion of locking her lips and throwing a non existent key behind her. Lexa watches her as she goes back to her reading. She still holds the two highlighters she has on standby in her right hand and the third highlighter is held up between her lips as her eyes skim over the words in her book. She watches as Clarke leans into the table shaking her head at something she assumes she doesn't understand. She watches as Clarke's lips move as she silently reads to herself every now and then bringing the highlighter down marking an important sentence. She watches as Clarke's tongue moves out to wet her drying lips and before she realizes what she is doing her own tongue comes out and swipes her own lips. “Lexa,” Clarke smirks without even looking up from her book. 

“Hmm?” Lexa chokes out jumping slightly in her seat. 

“You're staring.” She teases.

“No, talking.” Lexa simply reminds her before shaking her head and muttering, “distractions,” to herself. 

The next three hours go by fairly quickly but Lexa doesn't get as much work done as she had hoped. Even when she is saying nothing she can't help the fact the Clarke is a distraction to her. She can't help but think again how much she hates this situation that she let them put themselves in.

 

~*~

 

When Clarke gets home later that night she throws her bag and her anatomy book onto the floor by the couch and then throws her body onto the couch itself. Even though she spent most of the day at the coffee shop she didn't get nearly as much reading done as she had planned. Between her catching Lexa’s looks of longing towards her and listening to the quiet way that Lexa mutters to herself as she studies, Clarke found it hard to focus on her work and ended up having to reread the same several paragraphs over and over before she took anything away from them. She should have known better then to stay and study with Lexa. She glances at her watch and groans when she realizes that it is after ten o’clock. Laying their on the couch she takes a few minutes to debate on whether she wants to try and go to sleep so she can wake up early the next day to finish her reading or just try and get as much of it done tonight as she can. Ultimately, she decides to stay up and get as much done as she can while finishing off the bottle of wine from the previous night. She spends the next few hours in bed with her highlighters and her anatomy book getting through as much as she can before her brain doesn’t seem to want to function any longer. Clearing off her bed and dropping all her school material on the ground she rolls over and finds her phone sitting next to her. She’s not sure if it’s the mix of the wine and the late night, or rather early morning, studying that makes her do it but before she can stop herself she sends a text to Lexa.

**_Days like today make me question why you aren’t here with me at the end of it._ **

She waits several minutes for a response to come, for a call or a knock on her door, but nothing comes. Pulling her comforter up to her chin and snuggling the stuffed lion that she has slept with since Lexa bought it for her two months into their relationship, she slowly drifts off to sleep. 

 

~*~

 

**_-Days like today make me question why you aren’t here with me at the end of it._ **

Lexa reads over Clarke's text for a third and fourth time. She has typed and deleted several responses including a “ _ fuck you Clarke it's your fault I'm not”, _ which she decided was to aggressive and Clarke didn't deserve that, or “ _ I’ll be over in 5 minutes Clarke”,  _ which she knew couldn't be an actual option, and finally she settled on a simple, _ “I miss you, Clarke.”  _ However instead of sending the response she deletes it yet again and eventually throws her phone back on the bed beside her reminding herself that this is what Clarke wants and she was going to respect that. One text about what could be is not going to change what is. So instead of reaching out she grabs her favorite book and starts it over from chapter one reading until she can't keep her eyes open any longer. 

 


	2. Two

 

The two weeks that follow their day of distracted studying pass by and Lexa doesn't hear from Clarke other than a group message they’d both been included in by their friends. The days however go by fairly quickly as Lexa finds herself spending most of her time at school. With any spare time that isn't spent studying some case file, or where she isn’t nose deep in some law related book, Lexa spends that time at the boxing gym she and Anya often frequent. 

Which is where she currently finds herself waiting for Anya who is now ten minutes late. She methodically wraps her hands with the new wraps she had bought for herself the week before. The fact that she was still able to smell the sweat and grime that had become a part of the material on the old ones, even after she had washed them, told her it was about that time to invest in some new ones. With one more quick glance towards the door and a frustrated shake of her head she decides to start warming up with some jump rope routines while she waits for her friend. Grabbing the old rope from her gym bag she starts with a simple and easy pace. Listening to the crack of the rope as it hits the ground to time her jump. After another minute she speeds the rope up and adds a cross of her hands every few go arounds.Before she knows it she is completely tuned into the rhythm of the rope and the matching movements of her feet. Stepping side to side then front to back. Adding another cross of the rope in front of her all while keeping her mechanical rhythm. When Anya finally shows up and apologizes for being so late, they fall right into their workout, switching between three minute boxing rounds with a one minute bodyweight movement in between each round as their “rest” period.  Their final round consists of Anya holding the heavy bag in place for Lexa as she switches between sets of left and right hooks and uppercuts. At this point Lexa’s arms feel like they are loaded with lead but she pushes herself to finish these last three minutes. She concentrates on her breathing, making sure to breath out as she throws each punch. Every punch she throws is harder than the last and in the last 30 seconds of the round her once soft growls grow louder until she practically yells with her final right hook, throwing her entire body into the hit. Anya stares at her knowing that her friend is not only stressed with school but frustrated and upset about the whole situation she and Clarke find themselves in. But, when she opens her mouth to bring it up to Lexa she is quickly stopped with glaring eyes.

“Let’s do abs before you’re too cooled down.” Lexa commands, shaking out her arms before quickly unwrapping her hands and throwing both the wraps and gloves on top of her bag. She then leads Anya through one of the hardest ab workouts she knows just to spite her for being so late to their workout.

“I hate you.” Anya breathes heavily, her body spread flat on the floor and unwilling to move. “You know I don't have as strong of a core as you and that ab work…” She trails off practically growling at Lexa. 

“That's what you get for being late and pissing me off. Plus I just really needed it.” Lexa explains turning over on too her stomach and pushing herself up into a cobra stretch to stretch her tired muscles. Anya follows her lead whimpering slightly at the stretch.

“Your right hook is looking a lot better. You're finally twisting and using that power in your legs.” Anya points out.

“Thanks.” Lexa mutters continuing with some leg stretches before she moves to repack her gym bag. “I'm gonna head out. I need to finish this case study for tomorrow and I want to get a start on next week’s readings.” Lexa stands and turns back towards Anya who is still on the ground stretching out her legs. 

“Lexa, you need a break. If your intensity in that work out tells me anything it’s that you're going to explode if you keep up the way you're going. All I ever see you do is study or work out. We are going out tomorrow night.”

“Anya, I can’t-” 

“Nope, I don't want some lame excuse it's a Friday night there is nothing you can’t put off for a couple of hours to get out and be an actual human being for a while.”

“Fine...but I don't want to be out too late.” Lexa compromises knowing there was no way that Anya was going to let her win this battle. Besides, it would be nice to get out and spend some time with some friends. 

“I’ll take it.” Anya laughs “now go do lawyer training and just leave me here to die slowly.” Lexa can’t help but smirk as she watches her best friend fall back to the ground and wave her off.

“See ya Ahn,” Lexa adds and turns to walk out the gym towards her jeep waiting in the parking lot. As she pulls onto the road she makes a last minute decision to stop and pick up something quick for dinner from the grocery store. Typically she likes to head straight home after working out to shower and make a recovery drink but, she wants to get as much of her work done tonight as she can, since now she can’t tomorrow. So she ultimately decides stopping now is more practical than going home and then going back out later. 

About five minutes into her drive Lexa hears her phone go off signaling that she received a text message and when she glances down quickly she can see that it’s from Raven. At the next red light she opens the group message and laughs at the gif her friend sent but before she can respond a response from Clarke pops up. Deciding to continue the lack of communication between the two of them Lexa chooses not to respond and instead puts her phone down and turns up the music in her jeep, she’ll text Raven later. She knows she can’t avoid Clarke forever, she knows she doesn’t want to avoid Clarke forever but she has convinced herself that she just needs some time away from the temptation of her. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much to get Lexa thinking about her ex and once it starts it pretty much consumes her for the rest of the day. 

It seems today fate is once again against Lexa. As soon as she walks into the grocery store she spots a familiar head of blonde hair scoping out the same pre-made salads that Lexa had planned on getting for her dinner. “Ofcourse,” She sighs to herself, thinking about turning around and just leaving or walking around the store once to avoid Clarke. But instead she accepts that fate is an evil bitch and if it wants her to see Clarke today then she might as well women up and walk over to her. 

“Clarke.” Lexa greets, as she steps up behind the other girl who jumps not having heard her approach.

“Shit,” Clarke laughs nervously, “Lexa, you scared me.” She adds giving a once over of the girl now standing beside her. Lexa notices the drift of her gaze and can’t help but smirk. Clarke would always comment on how sexy she looks after she comes back from the gym all sweaty with her cut off tank top showing off pretty much everything. “How was your workout?” She asks as if she hadn’t just been caught checking Lexa out.

“Good. Badly needed.” Lexa answers as she reaches out and picks two cobb salads. “My week has been crazy busy. So it was nice to just sweat all that frustration out.”

“Ugh, I hear ya. I’m exhausted. Which is why I’m here.” Clarke explains turning back and waving her arms toward the salads in front of them. “I have had no time to go shopping and I really don’t want to cook anything. Plus, I’ve been living off of coffee and fast food so I thought I should try and eat something healthy for a least one meal this week.” Clarke laughs and Lexa nods in understanding. She always had to push Clarke to eat healthier foods. An awkward silence settles between them and it's unsettling to Lexa. Their silences had never been awkward and in fact many times these small moments of silence were a welcoming comfort to them. But this silence held no comfort and Lexa needed to extract herself from the situation.

“Well it was-” Lexa starts but Clarke turns fully towards her and interrupts.

“Hey I’m sorry about that text the other week. I shouldn't have- I was exhausted and I don’t know why I sent that.” Clarke is uncomfortable and she bounces her weight between her feet. “I’ve kind of been avoiding reaching out and I don’t want-” 

“No worries, Clarke. You’re always sentimental when you get overtired.” Lexa reasons and Clarke slowly nods her head. “I’ll see you around.” Lexa adds quickly and turns on her heels to walk towards the registers ready to escape this situation as fast as she could. She didn’t want to talk about that text or that she had read it over and over but never found the courage to send a response to it.  

“Ya, see ya Lex,” She hears Clarke sigh softly behind her.  
  


~*~

 

Clarke checks her watch for the third time as she runs around her apartment throwing on her favorite loose fitting sweater and piling her hair up into a messy bun that sits on the top of her head. She grabs her phone off the counter and her backpack from the floor. After getting almost no sleep and forgetting to set her alarm she is now fifteen minutes late to her coffee date and Raven was going to murder her. Throwing her bag into the passenger seat of her car she speeds off hoping that the lights would be on her side as she made her way down the main strip.

Five minutes later she pulls into the small parking lot. She checks herself in her rearview mirror and groans as she notices the dark circles around her eyes that just accentuate how tired they actually are.

“Fuck,” she mumbles, rubbing her eyes which only makes them red and more irritated. She accepts that fact that she looks like crap and heads into the small cafe spotting Raven almost immediately. 

“Good morning sunshine. Nice of you to join me.” Raven starts but Clarke stops her as she sits in the chair across from her.

“Don’t sass me Raven, Yes, I’m late and yes, I look like shit so you don’t have to tell me. I barely got any sleep last night.” Clarke grumbles and Raven sinks into her seat lifting her hands in surrender. “I need coffee.” Clarke whines, throwing her elbows onto the table and resting her head into the palm of her hands.

“Okay then. Well, instead of telling you that you look like shit, which you do.” Raven laughs and Clarke groans. “I will go and get you a coffee.” With that Raven stands and makes her way back into the line at the counter. Clarke lets her head fall to the table and closes her eyes as she waits for her friend to come back. She thinks she may have dozed of for a short while because before she knows it Raven is back at the table with her favorite drink. “Thank you,” Clarke lifts her head and lets the aroma of the caffeinated drink fill her before she takes her first sip. “Mhmm,” she sighs and lets that liquid settle before going in for another one. 

“Are you human again?” Raven questions.

“Sorry,” Clarke croaked. “I’m just so tired.”

“What happened I thought you planned on taking it easy with the studying last night to have a chill night and catch up on sleep.” Raven frowns as Clarke lets out a snort. 

“Ya that was the plan. I stopped studying around nine and then just laid in bed staring at the ceiling until 4 am. Oh and I ran into Lexa at the grocery store. She had just come from working out and we had this awkward run in.”

“Ah, okay I get it.” Raven nods in understanding and Clarke looks at her questioningly.

“What?” Clarke grumbles playing with the lid of her coffee cup confused with Ravens interruption of her rant.

“Well you could have just started with the fact that you bumped into Lexa.” Raven laughs before sipping from her coffee. She looks too Clarke who has a look of confusion laid out across her face. “My dear Clarke, clearly you were up all night thinking about Lexa. Being all frustrated over her.

“No I wasn't!” Clarke denies, bringing her coffee up to her lips to hide the slight blush of her cheeks. 

“Please Clarke, you both can try and hide it or deny it all you want but I don't believe you. You run into her after she'd been working out and you're telling me you didn't think about taking her home and banging her all night? That's not what kept you up all night?” 

“Fuck,” Clarke sighs. “She did look so sexy... all hot and sweaty and-”

“Okay well I'm going to stop you right there before I lose you to some absurd sexual fantasy.” Raven interrupts. “ God, you two are so pathetic. I still don't understand why you broke up.” A look of defeat comes across Clarke's face, she is so tired of trying to explain her and Lexa's decision to break up to all their friends.

“It just wasn't working anymore. We barely saw each other and when we did we were always fighting.” Clarke sighs, “If you were in my head or Lexa's then you would understand. It just got to hard.” She adds “ can we please talk about something other than the fact that you don't agree with MY breakup?” Clarke pleads and Raven nods agreeing to back off for the moment.” Thank you.”

“I'm actually going out with Lexa and Anya tonight apparently Lexa is working herself into the ground.” Clarke lets her head drop to the table and let's out a groan.

“Can we not talk about Lexa at all.”

“Fine,” Raven relents throwing her hands up in the air. “How's school and becoming a hotshot surgeon and shit?” Raven questions, causing Clarke to let out another low growl. “Or is that off limits as well?” Raven smirks before Clarke goes on for the next fifteen minutes about her insane readings and labs and the partner she had this week in her lab who didn't take anything serious. When she's finished her ranting she apologizes and asks Raven how grad school and life in general was going for her. Their conversation flows easily from there. Both girls enjoying time they haven't been able to spend with each other lately. 

 

~*~

 

Lexa isn't sure how she ended up here. She doesn't know what could have possibly made her believe that this was a good idea. Because now that she's thinking about it...this was in fact a horrible idea. She thinks back on her night and remembers the several shots Raven made her take while she and Anya continuously told Lexa to loosen up and just have a good time. That she deserved to have a good time.

“Fucking Raven,” Lexa mutters under her breath as her feet betray her and continue to climb the familiar set of stairs. She looks at her watch and sighs. It's taken twenty-five minutes for her drunk ass to walk from the bar to the one place she shouldn't be. And yet she continues to move toward the apartment. Once she reaches the door she lifts her hand to knock but stops herself. She lets out something of a mix between a sigh and a low growl. Quietly cursing her drunken brain for walking here and allowing herself the time to sober up and realize that this was a horrible idea. “Fuck,” she mutters to herself. She has put herself into a frustrating predicament. Sober enough to realize that's she shouldn't be here, but still buzzed enough to not turn around and go home. She runs her fingers through her hair as she considers her choices. “It’s just one more time,” she sighs. “Surely it couldn't hurt.” She contemplates aloud before nodding to herself and raising her hand back to the door. Stopping herself once more she brings her hand to her face and pinches the bridge of her nose squeezing her eyes shut. “No...no…” She mutters, turning away from the door and taking a few steps before she changes her mind again and stops herself. Turning back towards the door she takes the corner of her lip between her teeth and fights with herself. Running over the pros and cons of knocking on this door. She starts to pace back and forth taking only a few steps forward and turning to take those same steps back. The alcohol still buzzing through her mind. She glances back down to her watch and sees that over five minutes have passed since she reached the door. She stops her pacing and leans her back against the door slowly sliding down until she is sitting on the floor. She lets out another long groan. “She’s probably not even here.” Lexa reasons with herself, throwing her head back and hitting it against the door. “Ow,” she cries out but leaves her full body weight up against the door

Not even a minute later the door flings open and Lexa falls back into the apartment with a yelp before staring up into questioning blue eyes.

“Lexa? Did you just knock? Why are you on the floor?” Clarke asks looking down at Lexa who lays flat on the floor half in the apartment half out of it.

“You weren't supposed to open the door.” Lexa pouts. “I'm not supposed to be here.” She explains covering her face with her hands. Clarke laughs and throws her hands up onto her hips. 

“Well than why are you here?” She asks Lexa, amused as she catches on to the fact the the girl lying on her floor isn't entirely sober.

“Raven.” Lexa grumbles. “And Anya.” She adds taking one hand from her face and pointing up towards the door as if the other girls were out in the hall. 

“Raven and Anya made you come to my place?” Clarke smiles and Lexa peaks her eyes through the fingers of the hand that still rests on her face.

“No, Raven and Anya made me take shots.” Lexa pouts.

“I see.” Clarke nods.

“Drunk and horny Lexa brought me here.” Lexa adds matter of factly and Clarke can’t help but bust out into laughter. She reaches her hand out and Lexa wraps her fingers around Clarke’s.

“Okay, well let's get off the floor first and then we can just go from there.” Clarke explains pulling Lexa up. When she is standing again Lexa automatically wraps her arms around Clarke.

“Hi,” She smiles, cuddling into the blonde's neck which only causes Clarke to laugh again.

“Hi.” Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa and feels the girl melt into her before quickly pulling away. 

“I should go.” Lexa decides. “I probably interrupted you and I’m sure you’re busy.”

“No, stay. Please.” Clarke insists. “Do you want something to drink?” She asks moving towards the fridge. She hears Lexa groan but she also hears her footsteps as she follows her.

“Alcohol is what got me into this mess. I don’t think I need more of it.” Clarke laughs and shakes her head.

“I was thinking more like water or maybe tea?” Clarke suggests and Lexa nods her head sitting on one of the stools off of the counter. “Tea it is.” Clarke goes about making both her and Lexa some tea and Lexa can’t help but stare. She notices the small sway in her hips as she waits for the water to heat up as if she is slowly moving along to a song in her head. She watches as her shirt rides up and shows off the skin of her lower back as she reaches up into the cabinet for the box of tea and then again when she throws her hair up into her typical messy bun on the top of her head. Lexa finds her thoughts slipping away from her and doesn’t realize right away that she is biting the corner of her lip again. She longs to be up against Clarke, her lips swaying slowly along with the other girls. Her fingers itch to run along the smooth soft skin of her back. To have her lips run over every spot of the girl’s neck. “Earth to Lexa!” Clarke calls out a third time with a smirk across her face. Lexa, having not heard the first two times she'd been called, snaps out of her thoughts and moves her gaze back to Clarke’s eyes.

“What? Sorry.” She shakes her head as a slight blush overtakes her cheeks. She can see that Clarke knows she was starring and probably could see what she was thinking about written all over her face.

“It's okay, I mean you made it pretty clear what your intentions were when you were lying on the floor earlier.” Clarke laughs and hands Lexa her cup of tea.

“Ugh, so embarrassing “ Lexa mutters. “This is why I don't drink much anymore. Because I do embarrassing and stupid things like this.” She complains and stands up. “Mind if I use the bathroom?” 

“Not at all,” Clarke remarks and watches as Lexa walks further into the apartment. She pulls her phone from her pocket to shoot a quick text to Raven. Knowing Lexa, she most likely just took off without even telling Raven or Anya.

**_(Clarke)_ ** \-  **_FYI if you're looking for Lexa she's at my place._ **

Not even thirty seconds later Clarke's phone vibrates in her hand.

**_(Raven) - We figured. She had been rambling on about you for almost an hour before we lost sight of her. Don't have too much fun! Or do...whatever ;)_ **

**_(Clarke) - Good night Raven. Tell Anya Hi for me!_ **

Lexa comes back into the room right as Clarke slides her phone back into her pocket. Grabbing both cups of tea, Clarke signals her to meet at the couch. They both sink into the cushions and Lexa looks back towards Clarke.

“ I'm really sorry I just showed up like this.” Lexa apologizes, sipping from her tea before placing the cup on the coffee table.

“Lexa, please stop apologizing. I'm glad that you're here.” The blonde reassures her, sliding a little closer on the couch and resting her hand on her thigh. She gives the girls thigh a small squeeze hoping it would comfort here and show her that she really is okay with her being here. 

“I should go home.”

“If that's what you want then you should.” Clarke offers.

“That's the problem Clarke!” Lexa bursts and jumps up from the couch flinging her arms up before slapping them back down against her side. Clarke leans back thrown off by the sudden movement. “It’s not what I want to do. I want more than anything to be right here where I am.” Clarke stands and shrugs her shoulders before crossing her arms. 

“So stay.” Clarke says as if it were that simple.

And then before she could tell herself not to, Lexa steps forward closing the space between them and connecting their lips in a fiery desperate kiss. Clarke catches on quick and let's Lexa kiss her until she needs to breakaway for air. Moving her hands to Lexa's checks she gently pulls her back. 

“Lexa…” Clarke says breathlessly. 

“You're so beautiful.” Lexa responds. Her hands on Clarke's hips pulling the girl closer as she moves to reconnect their lips. This time slower, but Clarke pulls away. 

“Lexa, wait. Stop.” Clarke steps away, not trusting her self control if she stays so close to Lexa. “We said last time would be the last time and you're drunk. If you hadn't been drinking you know you wouldn't be here right now.” Clarke reasons trying to be the bigger person. Trying to convince not only Lexa but to remind herself as well.

“I'm not drunk.” Lexa defends as she steps in again and closes the space between them. “And I am here. I told you...I'm where I want to be. I promise you I want you just as bad now as I wanted you before I walked here and I will want you just as bad tomorrow and the next day.” Lexa's hands move to Clarke's cheeks and are quickly covered by Clarke's own hands that slide down to hold Lexa's wrists. This time Clarke leans in to initiate their kiss. Lexa arches her hips forward in search of Clarke's but again Clarke separates them.

“Lexa, I can't-” she moves back and almost breaks at the rejection she sees in Lexa's eyes.

“You don't want me?” Lexa asks, looking away from Clarke., ready to run from this situation her drunken weakness has put her in. 

“No, that's not it. I do want you. God, I want you so fucking bad Lexa. But, it doesn't feel right. Not after you've been drinking.”

“We used to have drunk sex all the time.” Lexa counters.

“I thought you weren't drunk.” Clarke points out, raising her hands to stop Lexa before she says whatever retort she was about to say, “it doesn't matter and you know that was different.” Lexa lets out a long breath and nods because she does know that it was different then. 

“I’m just going to go.” She finally decides but Clarke steps in front of her. 

“Stay, it's late. We can just go to sleep.” Clarke offers and Lexa simply nods and allows Clarke to take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. Digging quickly through her dresser Clarke pulls out a tee shirt and pair of shorts for Lexa to change into. Once they both climb into bed Lexa fights with her head on weather or not she should move closer and wrap her arm around Clarke. As if she can sense Lexa's hesitation, Clarke moves back into Lexa's chest and pulls her arm around her waist. “Good night Lexa.” Clarke whispers.

“Good night Clarke.” Lexa responds the alcohol and the night catching up with her quickly as she drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning Lexa wakes up with her arm still firmly wrapped around Clarke’s waist. She thinks for a moment that she should get out of bed. She knows that she should leave and go home. But instead she decides that maybe this one last time they can pretend that everything is how it should be and that this is still normal. She pulls Clarke closer slipping her hand under the hem of her shirt and running her fingers slowly across the soft skin of her side. Clarke hums in approval and pushes herself further back into Lexa. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispers, her lips grazing Clarke's ear as she continues the soft graze of her fingers to slowly draw her from sleep. 

“Hmm?” Clarke hums in response.

“I’ve slept off all the alcohol.” Lexa smirks moving her lips over the skin on Clarke’s neck and leaving a trail of soft kisses. A quiet moan escapes from Clarke’s lips and she tilts her head to give Lexa more access to her neck. “And...as I said last night,” Lexa moves her mouth back to hover over Clarke's ear. “ I want you just as bad now as I did then.” Clarke, now fully awake, turns and faces Lexa before quickly moving to hold herself up over the girl’s body. She smiles down at Lexa before closing the space between them and connecting their lips. Although she initiates it, she lets Lexa control their to start. Lexa’s hands move up and down her back, slipping under her shirt and up to cup Clarke’s chest. Clarke takes in every touch but, Lexa's movements are slow and soft and Clarke grows unhappy with the pace the girl below her has set causing her to jump in and take over to speed things along. She brings Lexa's lower lip between her teeth biting gently before she pulls back bringing Lexa up to a sitting position with her. Lexa's normally emerald eyes have grown dark and Clarke knows hers must look the same. Lexa's arms move to wrap around Clarke's hips pulling her down against her before she reclaims Clarke's lips. Clarke's hands move to run through Lexa’s hair and she grazes her tongue against the girl's lips. Lexa opens her mouth immediately for Clarke to explore. They kiss passionately for what feels like a lifetime, Clarke's hips rolling down and into Lexa. The blonde lets out a soft moan when their body's meet up just right and she gets a moment of the friction her body craves. They break their kiss for air but Clarke's hips continue to roll.

“Fuck,” Lexa whispers and moves her hands up Clarke's sides to rid the girl of her shirt leaving her in only her underwear. She brings one hand back to cup one of Clarke's now exposed breasts and brings her mouth to the other, circling her tongue around her nipple. Clarke takes a sharp intake of breath grabbing Lexa's hair and pulling her impossibly closer to her.

“Lexa,” she gasps in the brunettes ear, her hips moving faster searching for any little bit of relief she can find. Lexa switches her mouth to the other side and moves her hand down in between them bypassing the ruined fabric between Clarke's hips. She runs her fingers over her slowly and softly, up and down, and Clarke shudders. “Please,” she begs and Lexa adds pressure, her fingers now moving over her in small circles. Bringing her head back up she moves her lips back to Clarke's. When Lexa’s fingers finally slip into her, Clarke's lips open with another intake of breath and her hips roll insync with Lexa's lithe fingers. It doesn't take very long for Lexa to feel Clarke start to tighten around her and when she does she speeds up and runs her thumb over her clit to get Clarke to reach that edge and then topple over it. When Clarke comes her grip on Lexa tightens and her whole body slows down as her thighs shake. Lexa slows her movement but doesn't stop to help Clarke ride every shudder out. When she finally feels Clarke’s grip loosen she slowly removes her fingers and smiles up as Clarke rests her forehead against hers. “You're so good at this.” Clarke smiles.

“What, sex?” Lexa laughs moving her head back to look into the other girl's eyes. 

“No, well yes, I mean at knowing me and exactly what I need.” Clarke explains slipping off Lexa's tee shirt and then leaving soft kisses all along her collarbone. Lexa chuckles leaning her head back to give Clarke's mouth more room to explore. 

“Well I would hope I know by now we’ve only been having sex together for over 4 years now.”

“I know, it's just. It's so fucking good, the best.” Clarke tries to explain and Lexa feels herself starting to retreat into her own head again. She wants to tell Clarke it’s because their different. She wants to tell her it's because their soulmates and they belong together, that this is just more proof. 

“Clarke,” Lexa starts ready to confess that their mutual break up wasn't so mutual. But before she can say anything more Clarke has pushed her back onto the bed and has taken hold of her lips with her own. Lexa's mind goes foggy and she falls into the kiss further as Clarke's tongue slips back into her mouth. She can't help the little sigh that escapes her when Clarke pulls away from her lips. She wants to pull her back but before she can she feels them move over her jaw, down her neck and then up to her ear. She takes the bottom of Lexa's ear between her lips, and softly between her teeth before she releases it and whispers to Lexa.

“Tell me what you want.” She instructs and Lexa can feel her body react to the slow and husky way Clarke asks her.

“You already know.” Lexa answers feeling Clarke start to move down her body.

“I do, but I want to hear it from you.” She purrs kissing her way across Lexa's stomach and curling her fingers under the hem of her shorts and underwear pulling them down and ridding them together.

“I want you, I want your mouth against me.” She barely gets out before she feels Clarke's warm breath and then her mouth against her. Lexa bites her lip to keep from moaning Clarke's name out as her tongue rolls against her. She moves expertly over Lexa, her hands holding Lexa's hips down as they try to move below her. When she feels one of Lexa's hands connect with the back of her head she knows that Lexa is getting close. She darts her tongue into Lexa several times before replacing it with her fingers, the combination of Clarke's fingers inside of her and her mouth on top of her quickly sends Lexa over the edge. A string of “fuck” and “Clarke” escapes her lips before she relaxes again. 

Clarke moves back up Lexa kissing her once more.

“Mmm.” Lexa hums taking in everything she can get with Clarke. 

“I know,” Clarke smirks leaning in to whisper into Lexa's ear once again. “You always taste so good.” She kisses just below her ear before moving off of Lexa and jumping off the bed to make her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. 

And just like that their moment is over and Lexa knows that she needs to leave. She changes quickly into her clothes from the previous night and knocks on Clarke’s bathroom door, not wanting to just leave the girl without saying anything.

“Clarke?” She yells over the running water of the shower as she opens the door just slightly, waiting for Clarke to tell her it’s okay to come in.

“Ya? You can come in!” She yells and when Lexa opens the door she peeks her head out from behind the curtain. “Want to join me?” She asks wiggling her eyebrows and Lexa almost caves in. “Oh, you’re dressed,” Clarke notices, pouting her lip in protest. 

“Ya, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to head out. I didn’t want to just leave.” Lexa leans against the doorway her arms  resting behind her back.

“You don’t have to go, I was thinking maybe we could go get breakfast or a coffee.” Clarke suggests letting go of the curtain and moving back under the warm water. 

“I can’t today, but maybe some other time this week.” Lexa offers knowing that it most likely wouldn’t happen anyway with their busy schedules. 

“Okay, well call me and we will plan something.” Lexa nods even though she knows Clarke can’t see her and grabs the doorknob to close the door for Clarke but looks back up when she hears the water stop and the curtain slide open. “Oh and Lexa,” Clarke grabs a towel wrapping it around herself. “I’m glad you stopped by last night.” She smiles walking up to Lexa and kissing her cheek before she moves past her into her bedroom. Lexa turns around her eyes following the other girl. 

  
“Me too,” she smiles. “I’ll see you later.”

 


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter! I got distracted with Clexaweek2017 annndd these tend to be a little longer than my usual chapter length so it takes a little longer to get them out. So probably no set schedule for them to be published but I have it all outlined out already and I will not abandon it! 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy!
> 
> As Always please excuse any and all grammar and spelling mistakes because they will be there.

Lexa had easily turned Clarke down when she had called her earlier in the week to make good on her suggestion for breakfast and coffee. However, after another long and frustrating talk with Anya she’s decided that she needs to really talk with Clarke. And she knew that a public place would work best. So when her Thursday morning class was cancelled she called Clarke and asked her to meet up for coffee at their favorite coffee place, the same place they’d had their study session a few weeks ago. Clarke of course happily agreed to meet up with Lexa and told her she would meet her there in twenty minutes. Lexa knowing Clarke as well as she did, knew that twenty minutes would easily turn into at least thirty minutes. Which was very much the opposite of Lexa who was someone who liked to be early for everything. So she made sure to head straight to the coffee shop to sit and wait for Clarke.

When she arrives, she smiles at the girl behind the counter and makes her way to a smaller table towards the back of the small cafe. She places her phone atop the table and pulls off her jacket to lay over the back of her chair before she sits down. She finds now that she is sitting here just waiting for Clarke that she’s feeling quite anxious. Without realizing what she is doing she begins shaking her leg, something she does when she gets anxious or nervous as Clarke has always pointed out to her. The buzzing of her phone distracts her temporarily and her leg stills as she picks up the device and swipes her thumb across the screen to open a text from Clarke that explains she is running late but on her way. Lexa shakes her head but doesn’t respond to the text. Instead she stands up and walks to the counter to order both of their favorites coffees. It’s not too long afterwards that Clarke rushes through the doors and heads straight to Lexa.

“I am so sorry,” Clarke says breathlessly as she falls into the seat across from Lexa.

“It’s fine,” Lexa smiles, pushing the coffee she’d gotten for Clarke towards her. “You’re favorite.”

“Thank you and I swear one day I’m going to be somewhere when I say I’m going to be there!” Lexa rolls her eyes but smiles and Clarke takes a sip of the drink she’d passed over to her. “Ugh, this is so good.” She sighs and takes another sip of the warm drink.

“I really don’t know how you can drink that stuff. It’s practically all sugar.” Lexa frowns, taking a sip of her own coffee.

“That’s why I drink it. Plus how else do you think I got so sweet!” Clarke winks.

“Sweet is not the first word that comes to mind for you.” Lexa fires back earning the crumpled up napkin that Clarke throws at her chest.

“So, no class this morning?” Clarke asks, settling into her seat.

“No, the professor has some really big case that he just got and he had a bunch of meetings this morning I guess, so instead we are just supposed to summarize the chapter ourselves and then we’ll go over it all tomorrow.” Clarke nods as she listens to Lexa’s soft spoken words. “I’m already ahead of where we are though so my morning freed up and here we are.”

“I don’t know who is the bigger nerd, you or Bellamy Blake.” Clarke laughs. “I’m actually a little surprised you called me, you’re excuse earlier in the week made me think you were just trying to dodge meeting up with me all together.” She admits and Lexa lowers her eyes to look at the coffee cup in front of her. “Lexa?” Clarke questions, realizing she had thought correctly.

“I was trying to avoid it.” Lexa admits, keeping her gaze down towards her hands that are wrapped around her drink. “It’s hard. And it’s weird and all I do is think about how I can’t kiss you and how bad that makes me want to kiss you.” She explains finally looking up too Clarke again.

“Lex,” Clarke starts but is interrupted by her phone ringing. “Shit, hold on…” she apologies and Lexa simply nods. “ Hey… yes, I’m still going to be there...Yes I have all the notes and the copies of the slides...okay...see you guys in a little while.” She hangs up the phone and shoves it back into her pocket. “Sorry, I have an exam later and a couple classmates are meeting before it starts for a last minutes study group. I somehow got volunteered as the leader.” She shakes her head. “Anyway-”

“I never wanted this break up.” Lexa blurts out taking herself and Clarke by surprise. Clarke’s mouth is hung open as it takes her a moment to find her words.

“What?” She asks confused. “Lexa we talked it all out. For hours! We decided it wasn’t working, that we were on the verge of hating each other and that this was for the best.” She explains trying to understand what Lexa means.

“No Clarke, you decided it was what was best and I just stupidly went along with it because I wanted you to be happy. But I’m not happy with this.” Lexa admitted pointing between them both. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here Lexa,” Clarke reasoned causing Lexa to sigh and slump into her seat.

“It’s not the same and you know it.” Lexa countered.

“Why did you go along with it if you didn’t want to break up? Why wouldn’t you just tell me when we were talking about it?” Clarke asked her brows furrowing in frustration.

“I don’t know, I guess...I didn’t think that it would actually last. I was just trying to make you happy!”

“Jesus Christ, Lexa.” Clarke grumbled. “ This is one of the reasons it wasn't working! You're horrible at communicating with me!”

“I’m well aware, and you know that something I struggle with and am trying to be better.” Lexa counters.

“You’ve been saying that from the start of our relationship over four years ago. Nothing has ever changed so what makes this time different?” Clarke questions, causing Lexa to sit up straight in her seat again.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you about it for weeks now but you never let me!” Lexa spits back raising her voice as she defends herself. “Whenever I bring up that that I miss us, that I miss you, or that I want to be wherever you are it’s almost like you switch off and go into some ridiculous auto pilot mode that just tells me what I want to hear and then sways the conversation away from where it’s headed. So tell me Clarke... who is the one who won’t communicate?” Lexa sits back in her chair again, feeling slightly lighter now that she’s been able to get out the way she’s been feeling. Clarke can feel the people around them staring and when she glances in their direction they snap their gazes away.

“Lexa, this isn’t the place to be having this conversation.” She whispers dryly.

“Of course, another way to avoid the conversation and keep those walls you’ve built up from coming down.” Lexa laughs bitterly and shakes her head.

“Are you serious what walls? Lexa, I’m not trying to avoid the conversation, and if I’ve done it in the past it’s not something I’m purposely trying to do or hurt--” Lexa cuts her off slamming her hand on the table and leans in towards Clarke trying to keep her voice down.

“That is part of the issue Clarke! You don’t even realize you’re doing it and in a way that makes it even worse.”

“Lexa I...I don’t…” Clarke stumbles, her head shaking unsure what to do or what to say.

“You better figure out what the real reason you gave up on us is and what exactly it is that you are so afraid of Clarke because I’m not just going to hang around and be your fuck buddy. I deserve better than that.” Lexa barks, standing from her chair, grabbing her jacket and her coffee before walking away.

Clarke turns in her seat, her eyes following Lexa as she walks out of the cafe and down the street. Her brows furrow as she lets Lexa’ last words sink in. “What the fuck.”  she mumbles to herself. Their relationship had been shaky for months before they decided to break it off.  The direction in which they were heading was only going to lead to a disaster and she couldn't bare not having Lexa in her life at least in some way. And so they made a choice, or so she thought. She sighs and finally turns back around in her chair. She hears Lexa’s words repeating in her mind _What are you so afraid of._  

She lets out another frustrated sigh when she gets a text from one of her classmates asking when she was going to meet them. After a quick reply she gathers her stuff and heads out the door feeling guilty for a break up she now feels a hell of a lot more responsible for and a little bit confused about.

 

**~*~**

 

It had been just over a week since Lexa had run out on Clarke during their coffee hang out and neither of them have reached out to the other. Instead they both used the excuse to further lose themselves in their school work. Tonight however, Octavia and Raven have finally  talked Clarke into meeting them out for dinner. They’d tried for dinner and a movie but didn’t push the movie after Clarke finally agreed to half their plans after ignoring them for most of the week.

“So what doctor things did you learn today?” Octavia asked before taking a bite of the bacon cheeseburger she ordered.

Clarke smirked knowing that what they were learning this week wasn’t exactly dinner conversation but she happily explained anyway. “Well, this week is all about infectious diseases.” Octavia scrunched her nose in disgust causing Clarke to laugh. “Ya, today we focused on scabies which are these little mites that can live under our skin and then lay eggs.”

“Okay, and I think that’s enough doctor talk during dinner.” Raven interrupts more than happy to sway the conversation away to something other than bugs living under their skin. “Gross” she shutters and scratches that back of her neck just thinking about it. “O, whats going on with you have you have your heard back from the police academy yet?”

“Not yet, but I don’t expect to for at least another week.” Octavia explained smiling at Clarke who looked at her confused.

“You applied for the police academy? I mean I know you’ve been talking about it but I didn't know that you actually went ahead and did it.” She smiled at the younger girl, proud that she was going for something she has always dreamed about doing.

“Yeah, late last week. I was just like ya know… this is really want I want to do. So I did it. You’ve been so busy with school and all your study groups and labs and what not. I just haven’t gotten the chance to tell you.” Clarke frowned and sat back in her chair. She really enjoyed her classes and loved what she was doing but it did take a lot of her time that she could have been spending with her best friends.

“I’m sorry I’m so busy.” Clarke apologizes, rubbing her hands over her face. “And that I’m always so damn tired,” She sighs. “I’m really proud of you though. You’ve been talking about this for a long time.”

“Ya me too,” Raven agrees picking up her drink and raising it between them. The other two followed her lead before she went on with her toast. “To future Officer Blake, keeping our asses safe and more importantly out of jail!”

“And to future Doctor Griffin keeping our skin bug free!” Octavia adds.

“And of course to the genius that is Raven Reyes, sending rockets into space!” Clarke adds completing their toast to themselves as they all tap their glasses together and sip their drinks. Clarke can’t hide the yawn that comes over her after she puts her drink back down and both Raven and Octavia frown at her.

“Clarke. Everything okay with you?” Raven asks.

“Yea,” the blonde sighs. “School is just...well pretty much as tough as I thought it was going to be and it’s tiring to think that it is only going to get harder from here on out.” she explains.

“You’ll get through it.” Octavia adds in support.

“I know.” Clarke nods, picking up her glass of wine for another long sip. “I also had this thing with Lexa last week that's been bothering me.” She throws out there, knowing the other girls would talk through it with her.

“Now we’re are talking, who needs infectious disease when we can talk Clexa gossip. Spill the beans.” Octavia smiles taking another bite of her food. Clarke doesn’t try to hide the roll of her eyes and Raven just laughs.

“I hate when you guys call us that.”

“What happened with Lexa? Last I heard anything about you two was the night she showed up at your place and I know that didn’t end bad.” Raven smirked, giving Clarke a not so subtle wink.

“She told you about that?” Clarke questioned.

“Hell no, Lexa doesn’t tell me shit. She told Anya and then Anya told me.” Raven shrugged.

“Ya, and then Raven told me!” Octavia added. “So what happened between then and last week?”

“I don’t know, we had a good morning. I was just hoping that we could be friends again.”

“Friends that have hot lady sex.” Raven adds and Octavia points in agreement.

“Ya, friends that occasionally have sex.” Clarke clarified biting the corner of her bottom lip. “Anyway, It was a light hearted, good morning and so I suggested we go get breakfast. She said she couldn’t but we would make plans for coffee during the week. So I called her and tried to set something up and again she said she couldn’t. I assumed she was avoiding me but then she called and asked me to meet up with her last Thursday for coffee.”

“So she wasn’t avoiding you?” Octavia asked.

“Oh no, she was! Because, I brought up how I thought she was avoiding me since she turned down both my plans and that I was surprised when she called me for coffee.” Clarke paused and shook her head taking a moment to remember the rest of the conversation. “She said she was avoiding me and then before I could ask her why she said she wants to get back together.”

“Uh oh.” Raven started but Clarke held her hand out.

“Oh, just wait. She then told me that she never wanted to break up in the first place and that she was trying to make me happy and that she didn’t think it would actually last this long.

“Yikes,” Octavia mumbles, her glass of wine at her lips. “Makes sense though, that girl is wrapped around your finger and would do anything for you.” Clarke glares at Octavia who just shrugs. “Just a fact, I’m not saying what she did was right. Just that it fits her.”

“Yeah, well now I feel all responsible and guilty about breaking up with her. She also added that I need to get over whatever it is I am afraid of and that she deserves better than to just be my “fuck buddy.” Clarke adds throwing up air quotes around the phrase. “I don’t know it’s just been bugging me.”

“Well, what did you tell her?” Raven asked curious as to where their conversation went from there.

“Nothing, she pretty much just stormed out on me after that.”

“Well don’t take full responsibility. She should have told you the truth that night.” Raven acknowledged.

“Exactly! She should have. We talked for hours that night that we ended it. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have brought it up.” Clarke took a moment to think back to that night and came to the realization that she was the one who had been doing most of the talking. “Damn it Lexa.” she sighs to herself.

“Well let me ask you this.” Octavia nods and leans into the table towards Clarke. “Are you happy?”

“Am I happy?”

“Yeah, are you happy with how things are now? Or well before last week. I guess.” Octavia adds.

“I guess, yes? I don’t know.” Clarke sighs resting her arms on the table and then her head into her arms. “Mostly I just feel tired.” She groans. “And right now I’ve got several different infectious diseases floating in my head right alongside these confussing thoughts of Lexa. So we can go ahead and just add love to that list of diseases.”

“So you still love her.” Raven verified.

“Of course I still love her. Love just wasn’t enough anymore.” Clarke confesses before sitting up right and picking up her fork, stabbing the food she just wasn’t hungry for anymore. “Let’s talk about something else.” She asks and her friends nod seeing that she had enough of serious talk for the night. Raven, however, decides to just close it off with one last piece of advice.

“Well, I think maybe... give her some space. Take some space for yourself and then maybe try and ask her to meet with you and have an adult conversation about it all. Make sure she is honest about everything she’s feeling and has felt and neither of you storm out until you figure it out. Then have closure or go from there.” Clarke nodded agreeing with Ravens words knowing that she was right. “Alright that’s done.” Raven says wiping her hands together as if wiping that whole conversation clean from their night. “Let’s talk about me.” She joked trying to get the light heartedness back into their dinner.

 

**~*~**

 

The library was quiet and Lexa was just about ready to start packing up her documents when someone sat down across from her.

“Lexa Lexa, let me see you flexa!” The goofy grinned boy smiled flexing both of his arms and causing Lexa to roll her eyes and let out a small chuckle.

“Blake, that was horrible. What happened to Lexa t-Rexa?” She smirked at him as he scrunched his face causing his black rimmed glasses to fall down his nose.

“Eh, it wasn't original enough. You said you heard it before.” He explained, pushing his glasses back up his nose as Lexa tilted her head in question.

“I told you that our first day of University and it took you those four years and then some to understand it and try and come up with something else? Which, might I add, you failed at horribly. I recommend just sticking with it at this point.”

“Alright, I do love it even if it's unoriginal.” He admits. “Lexa t-Rexa!” He whispers, more for himself then for her.

“Haven’t seen you in these parts in a while.” She tells him as she moves several documents making space for him to throw his bag down to join her.

“Me? I was going to say the same thing about you.” He smiled. “I’m here almost every night like the cool kid I’ve always been and I haven’t seen you.” He pulls a large Roman history book out of his messenger bag along with a tattered spiral notebook. She sighs, bringing her hand up to rub the back of her neck.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve been working a lot at home.” Lexa admits, slouching into her chair as Bellamy watches over her.

“Rough semester?” The boy asks.

“You could say that. Although it has more to do with life then with school. School is the easy part. I know school and I can do school.” Lexa rambles. “Life on the other hand…” She pauses shaking her head and leaning forward in her chair again. “That I could use some help with.”

“Let me guess,” Bellamy starts with a sad smile. “Clarke?”

“I fucked it up Blake.” She confessed. “I never should have agreed to this stupid break-up.”

“Well have you told her that yet? I don’t know how many times Anya and I have told you too.”

“I did. Last week.”

“And how did that go?” He asked already guessing the answer.

“Horrible.” She blurted out, resting her elbows on the table and then her chin in the palms of her hands. “I told her to figure out what she is so afraid of and that I deserve to be more than just a body to make her feel good when she needs it. And then before she could say anything I just stormed out.” She let out a frustrated breath.

“She’ll come around. It’s Clarke.” Bellamy insists. “I guess you’ve just gotta figure out how long you’re willing to wait for her.”

“Yeah, easier said than done.” Lexa rolls her eyes, “How do you let go of the girl you planned on spending the rest of you life with.” She breathes and Bellamy nods in understanding.

“Well, we haven’t been out in quite a while. How about tomorrow night you and I have a bro night and go get some drinks and not think about Clarke or girls and just chill and catch up?” Bellamy suggested. It had been a while since she and Bellamy had been able to get together.

“Sounds good, but I have this internship thing that I’ve got a lot of work to do for.” She waves her hand over the spread of papers on the table in explanation. “Plus, Anya already asked me to go out with all of them and I turned that down.

“Come on it’ll be fun. I miss my Lexa T-rexa.” The boy pouts. “It’s been wait too long.” Lexa sighs but can’t help but smile, she did miss her friend.

“Alright maybe, it’ll depend on how far I get with all of this tonight and tomorrow.”

“Well stop talking to me and do some work!” He feigns annoyance shaking his head and opening his own textbook.

Lexa was ready to pack up and head out before the boy sat down with her but she figured since he was here she would stay for the comfort of his silent company and try to get as much work done for her professor as she could. It would be nice to have a night out with Bellamy, she reasoned with herself once more before skimming over the next set of documents laid out in front of her.

 

**~*~**

 

“Pleaseee! Raven drawled, laying on Clarke’s couch and all ready for a night out with the girls. A night out that she was now trying to convince Clarke to attend. She had been at Clarke’s apartment since the blonde stepped out of her shower after a long study session with her lab group from school, scaring the hell out of her. Clarke knew she would regret giving her friend a key to the place.  

“I was just out to dinner with you guys last night!” Clarke reasoned, trying to get the girl to leave the apartment so she could go to bed early, maybe catch up on some tv shows that she was weeks behind in.

“Come on Clarke it will be all the girls! And it will be a lot more fun the just wasting away at home by yourself!”

“I won’t be wasting away,” Clarke scoffed, “I will be sleeping. Plus I don’t think Lexa would want me there right now.”

“Come on, live while you're young! You don’t need sleep. That’s what coffee was invented for. And the Lexa excuse has no weight to it. Apparently her professor has some big case he is working on and she was selected to assist him or some shit like that. I guess it goes towards required internship hours or something...I don’t really know. I just know that she won’t be there.” Raven looks up to Clarke with the biggest puppy dog eyes she can muster and Clarke slowly feels her resolve fade.

“Fine,” Clarke sighs. “I’ll come out for one drink, I guess it has been a while since I’ve been able to see everyone.”

“Yes! That’s my girl.” Raven cheers, standing from the couch as Clarke makes her way into her bedroom to get ready.

An hour later and Clarke finds herself surrounded by her girlfriends with a second drink in her hand. They had decided on going to one of the local bars that has a small dance floor towards the back of the place and booths and tables in the front closer to the bar. It was a place they found themselves at often but usually Clarke would stay in the booth and laugh at her friends on the dancefloor. She was never really a big on dancing.

“So,” Anya starts, scooting in next to Clarke at their table placing one of two shots in front of Clarke. She had disappeared for a little while after saying she was going to get a drink at the bar and the rest of their friends had just rushed out onto the dance floor, leaving Clarke at the table alone for a short time.

“I don’t want to talk about Lexa.” Clarke pleads.

“Good, I don’t want to talk about her either.” Anya laughed, nudging the blonde’s shoulder gaining a small smile from her.

“Sorry, I just...I don’t know.” Clarke admits with a frustrated sigh.

“Well, I know I’m technically her best friend but I like to think we are pretty close to. So…” She starts again. “I just wanted you to know that if you do need to talk about Lexa, I’m a good listener and I will stay as objective as possible.” Anya confesses with a shrug of her shoulder as she lifts her shot and turns her body slightly towards Clarke.

“Thanks,” Clarke smiled meeting Anya’s drink with hers in a quick “cheers” before they down the shot.

“Also you should know that Lexa is here with Bell. I saw them at the bar when I went to get the shots.” She admitted.

“I thought she said she had too much work to come out?” Clarke questioned, subtly looking over Anya’s shoulder to see if she could see the bar.

“Ya, that’s what she told me. Bellamy must have convinced her otherwise. Or she’s just trying to avoid you.”

“Probably the latter. Maybe I should leave.” Clarke offers, her eyes finally landing on the back of Lexa’s head at the bar.

“Fuck that,” Anya exclaimed. “Besides, I doubt that she’d come over here.”

“Ya. Looks like she found someone to entertain her anyway.” Clarke bites and Anya raises her brows before turning to look in the direction of the bar. Lexa was now slightly turned towards them as she spoke to a dark haired girl standing quite close to her. Too close in Clarke's opinion, but she knows the she doesn’t get an opinion any more. Anya turns back towards her and looks her square in the eyes.

“I’ll go get more drinks.” She spoke quickly before leaving the booth again. Clarke didn’t acknowledge the girl and instead kept her attention on the girls at the bar. She watched as Lexa turned to grab a drink from the bartender and hand it to this other girl, smiling politely at her as she did so. The dark haired girl happily took the drink from Lexa before motioning towards the dance floor. Clarke could tell that she was trying to get Lexa to dance with her.

“Good luck with that” She scoffed under her breath, Lexa liked to dance even less than Clarke did. She watched as Lexa glanced out towards the large group of people dancing before turning back to the girl and shaking her head. Most likely turning the girl down. Clarke couldn’t help the smirk that came across her lips. The girl seemed persistent though and continued her pursuit on Lexa. Clarke watched on as the girl ran her hand over Lexa’s arm. What ever she was saying to Lexa seemed to work because the next thing she knew she saw Lexa down the rest of her drink and place the glass down on the bar before putting up her pointer finger to signal something. Then this other girl wrapped her hand in Lexa’s and lead her straight to the dance floor. Clake’s gaze followed the pair as the got closer to the dance floor. She didn’t even realize that Anya had made her way back to the table with Bellamy in tow.

“Hey Clarke!” Bellamy smiled in greeting but got no response as the blonde stayed focused on Lexa. She could feel her body heating up as she watched this girl grab Lexa’s hips and pull her close. “Clarke?” Bellamy said again but got no response.

“Hey!” Anya finally yelled making Clarke jump in her seat and move to stare at her friends.

“Hey.” Clarke grumbled. “Hi Bell.” She greeted the boy less than enthusiastically.  

“Nice to see you to Griffin.”

“Who's that girl Lexa is dancing with?” Clarke questioned the boy, turning her gaze back to the dance floor. Bellamy turned around to find his friend and laughed before turning back towards Clarke.

“I didn't catch her name. Lexa was trying to get rid of her but she was persistent so Lexa told her she’d dance with her for one song. I’m supposed to go save her if she can’t get away.” Bellamy explained, eyes focused on Clarke as Clarke’s focused on this other girl dancing with Lexa.

“Oh,” She nods, trying to swallow the feeling of jealousy that had taken over her entire being. She knew she had no right to be jealous. She hears Anya start up a conversation with Bellamy but quickly tunes it out, instead focusing on the song playing over the speakers and the way this dark haired girl moved her body agaisnt Lexa’s. Lexa was a good dancer. She didn’t do it often, but she had rhythm and she could move. She watches as the song nears it’s end and this other girl pulls Lexa in, holding Lexa’s hands and running them across her own body.  When the song finally ends she waits for Lexa to politely dismiss herself from the girl but it doesn’t happen. “The song is done.” Clarke blurts out suddenly causing both Anya and Bellamy to look towards her.

“What?” The boy asks.

“You said you’d save her after one song, the song is done. Go get her.” Clarke stresses, pointing out towards the dance floor. Bellamy looks behind him and sees Lexa still dancing.  Turning back around her smiles at Clarke.

“She’ll be fine for one more song.” He insists waving her off before jumping back into his conversation with Anya. Anya though is constantly glancing towards Clarke, who is fidgeting in the seat next to her as she fights this internal battle with herself and her jealousy and finally half way through this second song she breaks.

“Let me out,” She hisses, pushing at Anya’s shoulder to get her to move.

“Where are you going?” The girl asks her already having a decent idea of what she was doing.

Clarke ignores her and makes her way straight towards Lexa and her dancing partner. When Lexa sees her approaching her whole body goes stiff and before she could do anything else Clarke’s hand is wrapped around her arm pulling her away from the other girl and into her own body instead.

“Clarke what the hell!” Lexa barks, before turning her head and silently apologizing to the other girl who just walks away annoyed at the situation.

“Dance with me, at least for half the song. I’m just helping you get away from whoever that was.” Clarke explains.

“I’m a big girl Clarke, I was fine.” She insists but still places her hands on Clarke’s hips as the girl turns around against her. If Lexa was mad her, Clarke wouldn't have known by the way Lexa pulls her closer to her body. She can feel Lexa’s warm breath right by her ear. “Unless of course, the real reason you saved me is because you were jealous.” Lexa whispers, their hips swaying in sync with each other and the rhythm of the music. Suddenly Clarke pushes away from Lexa and turns back towards her fear and anger showing across her face.

“I was just trying to help you because Bellamy was too busy.” She insists feeling herself get emotional and unsure why.

“Clarke are you crying?” Lexa asks concerned, stepping towards the blonde.

  
“No,” Clarke cries softly, quickly turning away and running for the door leaving Lexa to stand alone on crowded dance floor.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note...I try to keep each section in the same pov but I've noticed sometimes they do slip into another. (oops!) If your confused at any point don't hesitate to reach out! 
> 
> And as always let me know what you thought of the chapter and the story so far!
> 
> And you can always reach out on Tumblr @writtenletterstoyou :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for taking the time to read and more to come! Please let me know all your thoughts and feelings! If you want that is...no pressure :) 
> 
> OH! And Feel free to stop by and say hi on tumblr. I'm trying to be better with it!   
> writtenletterstoyou.tumblr.com
> 
> Cheers!


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